You don’t have to be part of a couple to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Here are some gift ideas for the person you love best: yourself.
Valentine’s Day is a celebration that clearly and quite blatantly excludes singles. Does not being part of a couple mean they don’t have a right to celebrate? Sometimes we forget that being single has a lot of advantages: there’s no mother-in-law, you sleep comfortably on an enormous bed, and you can go for days without cleaning and not get bawled out for it. Celebrate your celibacy by giving yourself something useless and fun. We also have some ideas to help you find the perfect partner this year.
Gin & Titonic Ice Tray. Drown your tears in a gin tonic.
Friday night comes around and your friends have a great plan: a “couples” night out. Who needs them! Stay home alone and make yourself a nice gin tonic. Use these Titanic shaped ice cubes; while they sink in your drink, the alcohol you’re ingesting will give you a pleasant high. After that, it’s straight to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Foldable Switchblade Comb. Always look your best.
Take this foldable switchblade-style comb with you everywhere. It’s small and manageable, and you can keep it in your pocket so you’ll always look impeccable. You never know when you might meet a pretty girl.
Puzzle Electronic Cube. Exercise your mind in your free time.
Take advantage of your free time to test your skills. This game is heir to those classic games of solitaire. You’ll play alone, but you’ll exercise your mind and stimulate your problem-solving ability.
Voodoo Toothpick Holder. Use it to get revenge on your ex.
Put a voodoo spell on your ex-girlfriend by sticking toothpicks in this little doll. Did she cheat on you? She’ll pay! Get revenge by asking your friends over to dinner and sticking toothpicks in the doll between drinks. Let her suffer as much as you have!
Suitcase Scale. Travel light.
What’s wrong with traveling alone? You get to do your own thing and make more friends than when you travel with a companion. Here’s our advice: don’t pack too much in your suitcase, you never know what you might want to bring back with you. You may even be able to fit an undocumented exotic boyfriend in it.
"My Beating Heart" Heart Shaped Cushion.
Do you miss taking naps with your boyfriend? This plush cushion reproduces the sound of a heartbeat and synchronizes it with your pulse. Snuggle with it while you take a long and relaxing nap. It’s much better than a boyfriend! It won’t complain when you squeeze it, won’t take up half the couch, and it doesn’t snore.
Fridgepoetry. Leave yourself love letters on the fridge.
Don’t have anyone to tell you how beautiful you are? Leave yourself self-love messages on the fridge. Feeling sad? Write something to cheer yourself up. Did you fall in love yesterday? Write a poem. Certainly no one knows better than you what it is you need to hear at any given moment.
Bear Puppet Oven Mitt. Learn to Cook.
You’ve lost several girlfriends to your famous potato omelet. Even your grandmother admits it’s as hard as a rock, but you just don’t seem to get it. The key to cooking well is to enjoy it, so get yourself a mate for the kitchen. This silicone bear is a mitt that you can exchange recipes and chat with. It also protects your hand so you won’t burn yourself. That’s what friends are for.
Panic Button. Chat on the Internet without the risk.
You’ve decided to try Internet dating, but you don’t have access at home, so you’re being real daring and doing it from work. Good for you! You’ll need this panic button to avoid taking unnecessary risks. Push the button when your boss comes near your desk and your screen will display a boring work-related document. When he turns around, you can go back chatting.
Youdodoll. Create a custom-made better half.
You’ve been single for years, and you’ve done everything imaginable to find a partner: blind dates, relapses with your ex, dating services... All to no avail. You’re beginning to think there’s no better half of you out there. Well, make one that’s built to order! Stick a picture of the person you have in mind on this little doll. It may not respond when you talk to it, but at least it’ll keep you company.